Diana Reader

So I'm actually writing this post with a couple people in mind.  I'm hoping they read it, and chances are, if you think it might be for you, it probably is. I always struggle trying to figure out where to begin, but I guess the best way is to just dive in. I've been reading and hearing a lot of comments about the thigh-gap, which for those of you who don't know, it's when a woman has a space between her thighs (basically she's very thin and her legs don't touch when standing straight).  Most of the comments I've heard describe this as an ugly, gross, disgusting anorexic thigh gap.  I'm all for showing various body types, shapes, and sizes, and half of me is relieved to hear comments about how being scary thin isn't attractive or desirable; it gives me a relief because it gives me permission to not have to strive to be that, not that I need societal permission.  Although, if we're all being honest with ourselves, we all DO want societal ac...

I think I might know what's wrong.  Actually, my grandpa solved it for me, or at least suggested the idea.  I only see my grandpa about once a year, sometimes less.  I guess that's what happens in divorce, it doesn't just affect two people, it affects everyone.  I would normally go as far to say that's what happens in broken families, but I don't think "broken" is the appropriate word to describe the non-traditional families.  People make choices, but that doesn't make the entire family broken, because that's not fair to put that upon everyone.  Just because two people made decisions, it doesn't mean that the children, or extended families, are now 'broken'.  Sometimes broken indicates that it can be fixed, and that's not always the case.  What's broken in these families is the hearts it affects. Anyway, so whenever I get the chance to see my grandpa, he tries to fit in as much as possible in the ...

I don't really know what I'm going to write about right now, usually I have more of a focus, but tonight, I just feel that I need to write.  So here goes. I just flipped open my bible to a random page, hoping for inspiration.  I see a passage I had highlighted, and it is 1 Peter 3:8-9 and it goes like this: All of you should be of one mind.  Sympathize with each other.  Love each other as brothers and sisters.  Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.  Don't repay evil for evil.  Don't retaliate with insults when people insult you.  Instead, pay them back with a blessing. Well this verse is pretty much perfect with the vague idea of what was on my mind.  Fighting.  I hate when people fight.  Like, seriously HATE it.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a spirited debate, frankly I encourage them and love to actively participate, but fighting is just horrible.  It gives me shudders just thinking about it.  And t...

I have so much on my heart and mind right now I don't know where to begin.  So, I'll start from the beginning.  It's a little too 'about me,' but I'm hoping you'll stay with me to uncover the message within. For anyone that has ever had an MRI, I am so sorry.  Seriously.  Apparently there are different types of things to do to prepare for them, but for me, I had to drink three large containers of contrast dye (containing a small amount of barium to coat your insides).  I had an IV in me, and they added different things to me during the test to get different pictures.  Needless to say, I was terrified.  The last thing they added made me literally shake uncontrollably, not enough to be noticeable, but enough for me to notice.  Not sure if it was the chemical or the fear in me, but a reaction nonetheless.  All I could think was, "This too shall pass," and boy did I repeat that with diligence. haha Fast forward to the next day, we get th...

I can't even begin to describe it. Have you ever felt so in love, that you can't help but smile?  It's a warmth that starts in your chest and flows through your body.  It's like having the sun in your heart; you're unable to contain the light, so it flows, emanating out of your body, uncontainable. I am so in love. I can't imagine the kind of love God has for me, if I feel this wonderful love for Him.  How much greater is His love.  I so wish we could all see ourselves, see each other, see the world through His eyes.  How different  our understanding of reality would be.  How much more beautiful our lives would be.  How much more light we would emanate. I was driving to southern Wisconsin this weekend, thinking about life, about myself, things I wish were different, things I need to work on, and right before I entered Appleton I saw the highway lined with lavender.  Not just a patch, but FILLED the roads.  Lavender highlighted t...

Pain is inexplicable. Pain is immobilizing. Pain is ineluctable. When I think of pain, I picture total darkness.  Solid, complete, terrifying darkness.  Within that darkness, I see a shooting light.  Not the light of relief, of compassion, of tenderness that is normally associated with light.  I picture a piercing light, that of a knife stabbing, full of hate and anger. I will do anything to avoid pain. Whether it's physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, we all want to avoid pain.  If it's pain from eating: I. Will. Not. Eat.  If it's pain from a relationship: I. Will. Build. Walls.  If it's pain from something else, I will do whatever it takes to avoid, ignore, brush off, numb that pain.  I hate pain. Who doesn't? Seriously, we all do this.  We all try to do whatever it takes to minimize the pain we feel.  That's why there's so many medications, meditations, religions, broken relationships, miss communicat...

So I can tell it's going to be another late night, something I ate, or something I didn't, not sure which, but either way my stomach is deciding tonight will be rather long.  But I'm learning that's okay.  I'm discovering that accepting what you're feeling in your body instead of ignoring it, or forcing it away, or fearing it, is the only way to move on from it.  I'm watching Chronicles of Narnia right now, another great series.  I haven't read the books, but the movies are great and the symbolism is fantastic.  What drew me into this movie was the boy Eustice, a self centered, rather obnoxious boy that gets turned into a dragon after a series of events.  In western culture, the dragon represents "greed, isolation, and spiritual desolation of a life devoid of relationships."  Fast-forward through the scenes and experiences Eustice has as a dragon, and you watch his transformation into a more selfless and caring being, eventually come to the p...