Diana Reader

Sometimes I think about how I could have done things differently in the past.  It's funny, that as we age, we grow into new understandings, beliefs, reasonings, and yet if only we had held them in the past, how different our present would be.  Now this sounds like regret, as if we would do things differently if we had a second chance.  I don't know if we would.  Sometimes I feel that we are able to gain new understandings because of the past mistakes and disappointments, failures and regrets.  I think of the people that have come in and out of my life, some I miss terribly, some I wonder if they'll ever return, some I am at peace with how it has come to be.  Each shaping and defining who I am, yet each completely separate and irresponsible for the person I am today.  I think we become so self abusing when we look back and wish we would have responded differently, wish we could change personality traits, addictions, fears, sins.  We condemn ourse...

I want to have a passion like Paul.  I want to have that desire, that fire, that intensity. I want that love. I've finished reading Acts and am into Romans, which is probably why I've suddenly rediscovered the amazing fire Paul has about the Lord.  This man, Paul, has undergone capture, imprisonment, torture, rejection, and yet he STILL is on fire for Christ.  He continues his mission, as eager and passionate as ever, filled with love, humility, and forgiveness.  Here is a man who went from persecuting to persecutee. Here is a man who revolutionized is way of thinking, believing, living. Here is a man who has changed . I love that Paul is able to relate to is audience so phenomenally.  He knew what it was like to hate Christians, to kill them, to find them evil, because he used to believe that.  But then his life was changed forever.  He did a 180 degree turn and became a missionary who knew the importance and had the unending love to sh...

Do you ever have those days where you just feel like your hearts beating, your breathing, your going through the motions, but you're not really living?  I hate those days.  I hate that there are evenings spent with those I love, wasted by hiding behind closed doors, tv and computer screens, walking aimlessly, lost in thought, deep in worry.  We don't have much time left on this earth and that scares me so much.  Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting precious time, like there's something huge pending, things I could be doing, and yet we run from them.  We hide.  We take the easy way out, because the thought of committing to something bigger than ourselves, the effort it would take, the fear of what might come, stops us from pursuing.  Why do we do this? This morning, I got to the coffee shop a little early.  I spent that time setting up everything, getting all of the machines going, making the shop feel warm and cozy and ready for the day.  I ...

There's freedom in new beginnings. There's freedom in never looking back. There's freedom in letting go. If you ask me about freedom, I will probably give you some good advice. If you talk to me about freedom, you might think I have it figured out. If you know me, you'll understand I struggle to be free. Okay, at this point you can stop reading.  Or you can keep reading.  Either way, I want you to know it's going to get a little personal.  More personal than you may be comfortable with.  More personal than I'm comfortable with. Today I threw away three years of food journals. 1095 days. 1095 pages. 1095 battles. Today I went to the lake and threw a part of my [self] away.  Let go of something I've had a tight grip on for too long.  Let go of holding on.  If you have ever held onto something for a long time, grasping it so tightly your hands hurt, knuckles white, fear tight in your heart, you'll know it's painful to think of letting go...

Discipline.  Discipline.  Discipline.  This word, this action, this ability is one of the most powerful characteristics we as humans can have, and also one of the hardest.  To discipline the body, spirit, and mind takes persistence, determination, focus, patience.  Discipline is more than just a singular act, rather it is a combination of qualities that sculpt us into what we set our minds to. "Discipline awakens us from our philosophical stupor and refines every aspect of the human person.  Discipline doesn't enslave or stifle us; rather, it sets us free to soar to unimaginable heights.  It sharpens the human senses, allowing us to savor the subtler tastes of life's experiences.  Whether those experiences are physical, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual, discipline elevates them to their ultimate reality.  It heightens every human experience and increases every human ability." [Rediscovering Catholicism] I don't know about you, ...