Regeneration isn't Self-Improvement
So I can tell it's going to be another late night, something I ate, or something I didn't, not sure which, but either way my stomach is deciding tonight will be rather long. But I'm learning that's okay. I'm discovering that accepting what you're feeling in your body instead of ignoring it, or forcing it away, or fearing it, is the only way to move on from it.
I'm watching Chronicles of Narnia right now, another great series. I haven't read the books, but the movies are great and the symbolism is fantastic. What drew me into this movie was the boy Eustice, a self centered, rather obnoxious boy that gets turned into a dragon after a series of events. In western culture, the dragon represents "greed, isolation, and spiritual desolation of a life devoid of relationships." Fast-forward through the scenes and experiences Eustice has as a dragon, and you watch his transformation into a more selfless and caring being, eventually come to the point where he is turned back into a boy. Now I'm going to switch over to the book, because the movie fully doesn't cover the whole story well (in my opinion). Aslan, the lion, tells Eustice to undress. Eustice realizes this means peeling off his scales, so he tries several times, but they reappear almost as soon as he tears them. Finally Aslan says Eusice needs to let Aslan undress him. And Eustice states:
"The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was jut the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know — if you’ve ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away [...] Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off – just as I thought I’d done it myself the other three times, only they hadn’t hurt – and there it was lying on the grass, only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me – I didn’t like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I’d no skin on — and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I’d turned into a boy again. . . .”
Have you ever felt like you've constantly tried to change something about yourself and fail every time? Have you ever searched the world for new ways, techniques, styles, opinions, reasonings in the hopes that one of them would help you succeed? Have you ever tried to find new opportunities, reached for what you thought would bring you happiness, tried so hard to ignore everything that brought you down in hopes that something would make it disappear for good?
We are all Eustice.
Not in the same struggle, but in the fact that we struggle. We try so hard to "fix" ourselves in hopes that we can have a better life and therefore be happier; as if happiness was lasting. I don't think it is. I think happiness is something fleeting, something that comes and goes.
Sometimes the search becomes the struggle.
I do think that what we search for matters. I may not think happiness is everlasting, but I do think joy is. Joy is something that comes from within. Something that you can feel when your world is coming down. Something that reminds you why you're here, comforts you when you are alone, gives you hope and light when you feel like darkness is everywhere. I think there's only one way to find joy.
And we can't do it alone.
We can't tear off our scales alone.
We can't shed our insecurities alone.
We can't let go of our weakness alone.
And yet we know someone who can. We have someone who will rip them away, take them on himself, has suffered so much pain to make us whole. Which makes me wonder:
Did Jesus' suffering stop after the cross, or does it continue?
When we turn our back on a beggar on the street, does He suffer?
When we ignore the opportunity to give or help, does He hurt?
But even more personal....
When we indulge in our own temptations, does that cause Him pain?
When we self harm, treat, or judge ourselves critically, does He cry?
When we call His name in vain, does He feel hurt?
When we lash out at our friends, enemies, family, strangers, does His heart ache with pain?
When we do things to gain popularity, acceptance, pride, even in His name, does he feel betrayed?
These are things I wonder about. Things I try to be more conscious about. Things I fail at daily. But thank goodness we have a God that will help us through it all. Who is willing to tear away our scales to make us whole. Who knows that we can't do it alone, and has done it for us.
Regeneration isn't self-improvement, Regeneration is found in surrendering to the Lord.
I'm watching Chronicles of Narnia right now, another great series. I haven't read the books, but the movies are great and the symbolism is fantastic. What drew me into this movie was the boy Eustice, a self centered, rather obnoxious boy that gets turned into a dragon after a series of events. In western culture, the dragon represents "greed, isolation, and spiritual desolation of a life devoid of relationships." Fast-forward through the scenes and experiences Eustice has as a dragon, and you watch his transformation into a more selfless and caring being, eventually come to the point where he is turned back into a boy. Now I'm going to switch over to the book, because the movie fully doesn't cover the whole story well (in my opinion). Aslan, the lion, tells Eustice to undress. Eustice realizes this means peeling off his scales, so he tries several times, but they reappear almost as soon as he tears them. Finally Aslan says Eusice needs to let Aslan undress him. And Eustice states:
"The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was jut the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know — if you’ve ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away [...] Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off – just as I thought I’d done it myself the other three times, only they hadn’t hurt – and there it was lying on the grass, only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me – I didn’t like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I’d no skin on — and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I’d turned into a boy again. . . .”
Have you ever felt like you've constantly tried to change something about yourself and fail every time? Have you ever searched the world for new ways, techniques, styles, opinions, reasonings in the hopes that one of them would help you succeed? Have you ever tried to find new opportunities, reached for what you thought would bring you happiness, tried so hard to ignore everything that brought you down in hopes that something would make it disappear for good?
We are all Eustice.
Not in the same struggle, but in the fact that we struggle. We try so hard to "fix" ourselves in hopes that we can have a better life and therefore be happier; as if happiness was lasting. I don't think it is. I think happiness is something fleeting, something that comes and goes.
Sometimes the search becomes the struggle.
I do think that what we search for matters. I may not think happiness is everlasting, but I do think joy is. Joy is something that comes from within. Something that you can feel when your world is coming down. Something that reminds you why you're here, comforts you when you are alone, gives you hope and light when you feel like darkness is everywhere. I think there's only one way to find joy.
And we can't do it alone.
We can't tear off our scales alone.
We can't shed our insecurities alone.
We can't let go of our weakness alone.
And yet we know someone who can. We have someone who will rip them away, take them on himself, has suffered so much pain to make us whole. Which makes me wonder:
Did Jesus' suffering stop after the cross, or does it continue?
When we turn our back on a beggar on the street, does He suffer?
When we ignore the opportunity to give or help, does He hurt?
But even more personal....
When we indulge in our own temptations, does that cause Him pain?
When we self harm, treat, or judge ourselves critically, does He cry?
When we call His name in vain, does He feel hurt?
When we lash out at our friends, enemies, family, strangers, does His heart ache with pain?
When we do things to gain popularity, acceptance, pride, even in His name, does he feel betrayed?
These are things I wonder about. Things I try to be more conscious about. Things I fail at daily. But thank goodness we have a God that will help us through it all. Who is willing to tear away our scales to make us whole. Who knows that we can't do it alone, and has done it for us.
Regeneration isn't self-improvement, Regeneration is found in surrendering to the Lord.
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