Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman
For those of you who don't know, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman is a tv show that is set in the 1860s. Dr. Quinn is this amazing woman who is the physician for a small town. She not only attends to the physical and emotional needs of her community, but also is not afraid to voice her opinion and stand up for what she believes is right. Her passion for human rights and equality, along with her care for her community and for those less fortunate is astoundingly wonderful. Furthermore, she is married to Sully, a man who is a great interpretation of "a true man". He's an outdoorsy guy who not only provides for his family, but has a caring, tender heart genuinely concerned for the poor and oppressed. I watched this show a lot when I was younger but it must have gone off air. This summer I rediscovered the show, and became enthralled in it once again.
I no longer have cable where I'm living (which is actually great!) so I haven't watched the show recently. The last episode I saw, however, struck a chord in me that I didn't even entirely know I had.
The episode was about a woman who was in need of someone to take care of her, so Sully and Dr. Quinn took this woman under their wing. She ended up living with them, and during that time falls in love with Sully. It ends up that this woman kisses Sully, which he pulls away (after a moment too long hesitation if you ask me). Later on, when she's ready to get back on her feet, she and Sully exchange necklaces that were both very personal to each of them. Dr. Quinn finds out about the kiss and sees the attraction between the two, and is devastated. Fast forward to the end of the episode, Dr. Quinn and Sully end up talking about what happened. I DO give Sully credit for being honest with her, even though it hurt. That's a man right there: being up front about what he's feeling even if it might hurt. He had been attracted to the other woman, but realized throughout it that Dr. Quinn was the only woman he ever wanted, the only woman he truly loved. This next part is what resonated with me.
Dr. Quinn explains that people in the community trust her. They tell her everything, give her all of themselves, because they trust that she has their best interest at heart and will take care of them to the best of her ability. She further explains to Sully that she doesn't give her trust to anyone, not in the way that people trust her. She kept her guard up to almost everyone, but she gave that trust to Sully. She had trusted him more than she had trusted anyone else.
She told him how much trust she had given him. And then she vowed never to let him cause her this much pain again.
The episode ends there, with her painfully bleeding with the hurt he caused her, and with him devastatingly faced with the possible reality that he had just lost the only woman that he ever truly loved, and no amount of regret would ever bring her back.
I think this is what every woman is afraid of: what the man she loves is capable of. When a woman opens her heart to someone she loves, there's no going back. There's no amount of bandaids, girls nights, wine, chocolate, exercise, shopping, stuffing yourself with empty promises, that will ever make that pain go away.
And that's why I think so many woman hide what they truly feel.
They will deny they are in love, they will tell people it hasn't gone that far, they may even convince themselves they don't love him that way because that would mean that they had gotten there. That they had given him permission to influence the outcome of her heart. They've given him the ability to build her or break her.
So I have two challenges that come off this:
The first is for you, the men reading this. I want you to wake up and grow up. I want you to realize that if you choose to attract the attention of a woman, make sure she's worth it. Make sure you are confident that she will be worth your time and there are no other women like her. If she responds to you, then please, if I can ask of only one thing, it would be this: Do not break her.
You men are wonderfully made, frustrating complex, and amusingly oblivious. But if you have decided to commit yourself to a woman, then do just that. Hold that commitment. Pursue her, understand her, accept her, love her. And if she isn't the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, if she's not the woman the Lord has planned for you, then graciously bow out. But whatever you do, do not wander to another woman because you feel unsure of your own situation.
The second is for you, the women reading this. When you find a man who makes you laugh, who looks you in the eye, who sees your beautiful self for who you actually are, who understands you like no one else, give him your trust. There's no greater form of love than being able to break down the walls we are taught to build around us and let that person in to see us in our fullest sense. To understand our reasonings, humor, know our beliefs, feel our pain, our joy, and most of all to be able to recognize and confront us when we continue to believe the lies we tell ourselves. Women, if you find this man, do not fool yourself. Because there will be a time where everyone around you sees your love, and no one will understand why you can't see it yourself. Let go of the fear in your heart and dive into all that is wonderful and true. And if he isn't the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, do not blame yourself or him for the loss. Do not let your disappointment stop you from enjoying the wonderful life that you were meant to live.
Dr. Quinn and Sully do end up working things out and live a wonderful life together. Call me naiive, but I like to think it's honesty: I believe that things will work out. I have this faith that some things happens for a reason and in the end it will be all worth it. You will either work out the relationship or find someone even more wonderful than you thought possible. Either way, your trust is not stolen. Your given love was not wasted. You hurt and you learn, you get up and you grow.
So I want you to remember this: trust is fragile, trust is powerful, trust is love.
If you love someone, give them your trust.
If someone loves you, accept their trust.
And above all, remember this:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight. {Proverbs 3:5-6}
I no longer have cable where I'm living (which is actually great!) so I haven't watched the show recently. The last episode I saw, however, struck a chord in me that I didn't even entirely know I had.
The episode was about a woman who was in need of someone to take care of her, so Sully and Dr. Quinn took this woman under their wing. She ended up living with them, and during that time falls in love with Sully. It ends up that this woman kisses Sully, which he pulls away (after a moment too long hesitation if you ask me). Later on, when she's ready to get back on her feet, she and Sully exchange necklaces that were both very personal to each of them. Dr. Quinn finds out about the kiss and sees the attraction between the two, and is devastated. Fast forward to the end of the episode, Dr. Quinn and Sully end up talking about what happened. I DO give Sully credit for being honest with her, even though it hurt. That's a man right there: being up front about what he's feeling even if it might hurt. He had been attracted to the other woman, but realized throughout it that Dr. Quinn was the only woman he ever wanted, the only woman he truly loved. This next part is what resonated with me.
Dr. Quinn explains that people in the community trust her. They tell her everything, give her all of themselves, because they trust that she has their best interest at heart and will take care of them to the best of her ability. She further explains to Sully that she doesn't give her trust to anyone, not in the way that people trust her. She kept her guard up to almost everyone, but she gave that trust to Sully. She had trusted him more than she had trusted anyone else.
She told him how much trust she had given him. And then she vowed never to let him cause her this much pain again.
The episode ends there, with her painfully bleeding with the hurt he caused her, and with him devastatingly faced with the possible reality that he had just lost the only woman that he ever truly loved, and no amount of regret would ever bring her back.
I think this is what every woman is afraid of: what the man she loves is capable of. When a woman opens her heart to someone she loves, there's no going back. There's no amount of bandaids, girls nights, wine, chocolate, exercise, shopping, stuffing yourself with empty promises, that will ever make that pain go away.
And that's why I think so many woman hide what they truly feel.
They will deny they are in love, they will tell people it hasn't gone that far, they may even convince themselves they don't love him that way because that would mean that they had gotten there. That they had given him permission to influence the outcome of her heart. They've given him the ability to build her or break her.
So I have two challenges that come off this:
The first is for you, the men reading this. I want you to wake up and grow up. I want you to realize that if you choose to attract the attention of a woman, make sure she's worth it. Make sure you are confident that she will be worth your time and there are no other women like her. If she responds to you, then please, if I can ask of only one thing, it would be this: Do not break her.
You men are wonderfully made, frustrating complex, and amusingly oblivious. But if you have decided to commit yourself to a woman, then do just that. Hold that commitment. Pursue her, understand her, accept her, love her. And if she isn't the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, if she's not the woman the Lord has planned for you, then graciously bow out. But whatever you do, do not wander to another woman because you feel unsure of your own situation.
The second is for you, the women reading this. When you find a man who makes you laugh, who looks you in the eye, who sees your beautiful self for who you actually are, who understands you like no one else, give him your trust. There's no greater form of love than being able to break down the walls we are taught to build around us and let that person in to see us in our fullest sense. To understand our reasonings, humor, know our beliefs, feel our pain, our joy, and most of all to be able to recognize and confront us when we continue to believe the lies we tell ourselves. Women, if you find this man, do not fool yourself. Because there will be a time where everyone around you sees your love, and no one will understand why you can't see it yourself. Let go of the fear in your heart and dive into all that is wonderful and true. And if he isn't the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, do not blame yourself or him for the loss. Do not let your disappointment stop you from enjoying the wonderful life that you were meant to live.
Dr. Quinn and Sully do end up working things out and live a wonderful life together. Call me naiive, but I like to think it's honesty: I believe that things will work out. I have this faith that some things happens for a reason and in the end it will be all worth it. You will either work out the relationship or find someone even more wonderful than you thought possible. Either way, your trust is not stolen. Your given love was not wasted. You hurt and you learn, you get up and you grow.
So I want you to remember this: trust is fragile, trust is powerful, trust is love.
If you love someone, give them your trust.
If someone loves you, accept their trust.
And above all, remember this:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight. {Proverbs 3:5-6}
Men really aren't that complex and women hold more power over them then they realize. Men are driven by their base natures to pursue and conquer. Simply put: They want sex. And even the most virtuous are wired for it. It is how God made them. This "passion" if used in the wrong context is addictive and destructive for a man. However, if used appropriately, it allows a man to form an incredibly strong bond with his wife.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, A woman who compromises her character/virtue/self-respect for a man is truly a fool. There is no greater sifter of shallow men than the unswerving high moral standards and resolution of a woman not willing compromise. The shallow men will realize how unreachable the summit is and move on to easier climbs. The men of character and Godly perspective recognize the incredible value in such a woman and that she is "worth far more than rubys." They recognize she is worth pain, worth the "frustration" if you will; worth the wait. These are the ones that stick around and are worthy of your affection. Then at the right moment, on a honeymoon night, in the proper context, the two become one.
Most young people do not realize that they do not need to be in a hurry. Time is there best friend. Men and women both must learn to guard their hearts, to not let warm fuzzies and emotions cloud their judgement. They must learn to be decerning.
Simply put: Young women need to aspire to be the Proverbs 31 woman. Young men need to pursue nothing less.
Women, you want a man who acts like Christ....and be uncompromising. Men must aspire to become nothing less.