[Super]man
I read something today that bothered me way more than it should have.
Leaving all names out, I found out that there was a man that allegedly cheated on his fiancé. Now, I know what you're thinking, but before you pass judgement as to why I care about this, let me explain.
Okay, I can't explain.
It must be something deeply embedded in me, because whenever I hear of a breakup, even with a couple I don't know, I get really, really sad. Which is crazy, because it totally doesn't pertain to me. I honestly don't know why I do this, and it really bothers me that it bothers me, if that makes sense. So, after finding out about this particular couples problems, I honestly couldn't focus anymore. I had an exam shortly after and my mind was totally unfocused. I'm mostly righting this blog because I need to study for an important anatomy exam tomorrow and have to get this out there and off of me. The hopeful part of me wants to believe it's all just a scandal and not true, but the reality part of me is forcing me to accept that it could be true.
So today I went for a drive. I needed to clear my head, think about why I react this way, and find a way to stop being so driven down by issues that don't involve me. I had the radio on, and as I was scanning from station to station, all I heard was mix of "girl give it to me" "girl shake it for me" "I know you want it" and I started to wonder when our society became so sexually based with men being the predator and women being the object that once used is tossed aside. Think about it, in a lot of the videos done by contemporary male singers, there's always the "no name" female who's sole purpose is to fulfill some sexual fantasy of his. Even more, these women don't always end up being the same at the end, some videos with multiple different women, all nameless. And you're probably wondering why I don't just turn off the radio. And you're right. I've put myself in a position where I've surrounded myself with these messages, but at the same time, they're getting harder to escape from. I realize this isn't all men; there are women who put themselves out there as objects to be used. "Do what you want with my body" is clearly an example.
All of this at once made me lose faith. Even after two different people commented about the thoughts and actions of men, being "mostly sexually based" I realized how much this disappoints me. I start to wonder if the thought of a faithful, honest man is actually just a Disney dream, something we are pushed to look for but not actually attainable. Goodness, even in my medical microbiology class we had a discussion about men that work 6 months out of the year away from home and therefore go to strip clubs, etc. because their wives were so far away. The way this conversation went made it seem like this was just okay. And that bothered me more than I can express.
So what do I do with all this? Well, first I ate three cookies and a bunch of m&ms, before realizing it's not me who went through a breakup. So Rosalie comes into my room and I blurt out everything I'm feeling, we have a conversation, and then I drive to school and here I write. I admitted with embarrassment how sad I was about the news, and she gave me a perspective that I had never thought of. She said when we look up to certain people and they do something like this, we feel like we have been betrayed. Lied to. Like everything they stood for wasn't real, and even if they didn't do anything directly to us, in a way, they did.
I've been listening to "Waiting for Superman" on loop as I write this, wondering if there's actually a super man out there. Not the flying cape, kryptonic, American icon, but a real super, man. Someone that will step up and show the rest of us that our hope of innocence and commitment can be real. I know those men are out there. I've met some of them. I just feel like it's such a rare thing, that I wonder if they're becoming more scarce because we've placed measure on a man's sexual status: how many women want him, rather than actual valuable characteristics. I'm not even talking about finding my own super man, I'm just hoping that someone's future super man will step forward, leading a movement of faithfulness, honesty, genuine love, and eyes only for his woman. Call me a dreamer, but I believe they're out there. He's out there. Now if only society would acknowledge that.
I don't mean this to be a feminist blog. Nor do I mean it to be an anti-men statement. I guess it's just a girl tired of what the media puts emphasis on. What we're told is "beautiful" "hot" "normal".
I guess I'm just waiting for the redefinition of Superman.
Leaving all names out, I found out that there was a man that allegedly cheated on his fiancé. Now, I know what you're thinking, but before you pass judgement as to why I care about this, let me explain.
Okay, I can't explain.
It must be something deeply embedded in me, because whenever I hear of a breakup, even with a couple I don't know, I get really, really sad. Which is crazy, because it totally doesn't pertain to me. I honestly don't know why I do this, and it really bothers me that it bothers me, if that makes sense. So, after finding out about this particular couples problems, I honestly couldn't focus anymore. I had an exam shortly after and my mind was totally unfocused. I'm mostly righting this blog because I need to study for an important anatomy exam tomorrow and have to get this out there and off of me. The hopeful part of me wants to believe it's all just a scandal and not true, but the reality part of me is forcing me to accept that it could be true.
So today I went for a drive. I needed to clear my head, think about why I react this way, and find a way to stop being so driven down by issues that don't involve me. I had the radio on, and as I was scanning from station to station, all I heard was mix of "girl give it to me" "girl shake it for me" "I know you want it" and I started to wonder when our society became so sexually based with men being the predator and women being the object that once used is tossed aside. Think about it, in a lot of the videos done by contemporary male singers, there's always the "no name" female who's sole purpose is to fulfill some sexual fantasy of his. Even more, these women don't always end up being the same at the end, some videos with multiple different women, all nameless. And you're probably wondering why I don't just turn off the radio. And you're right. I've put myself in a position where I've surrounded myself with these messages, but at the same time, they're getting harder to escape from. I realize this isn't all men; there are women who put themselves out there as objects to be used. "Do what you want with my body" is clearly an example.
All of this at once made me lose faith. Even after two different people commented about the thoughts and actions of men, being "mostly sexually based" I realized how much this disappoints me. I start to wonder if the thought of a faithful, honest man is actually just a Disney dream, something we are pushed to look for but not actually attainable. Goodness, even in my medical microbiology class we had a discussion about men that work 6 months out of the year away from home and therefore go to strip clubs, etc. because their wives were so far away. The way this conversation went made it seem like this was just okay. And that bothered me more than I can express.
So what do I do with all this? Well, first I ate three cookies and a bunch of m&ms, before realizing it's not me who went through a breakup. So Rosalie comes into my room and I blurt out everything I'm feeling, we have a conversation, and then I drive to school and here I write. I admitted with embarrassment how sad I was about the news, and she gave me a perspective that I had never thought of. She said when we look up to certain people and they do something like this, we feel like we have been betrayed. Lied to. Like everything they stood for wasn't real, and even if they didn't do anything directly to us, in a way, they did.
I've been listening to "Waiting for Superman" on loop as I write this, wondering if there's actually a super man out there. Not the flying cape, kryptonic, American icon, but a real super, man. Someone that will step up and show the rest of us that our hope of innocence and commitment can be real. I know those men are out there. I've met some of them. I just feel like it's such a rare thing, that I wonder if they're becoming more scarce because we've placed measure on a man's sexual status: how many women want him, rather than actual valuable characteristics. I'm not even talking about finding my own super man, I'm just hoping that someone's future super man will step forward, leading a movement of faithfulness, honesty, genuine love, and eyes only for his woman. Call me a dreamer, but I believe they're out there. He's out there. Now if only society would acknowledge that.
I don't mean this to be a feminist blog. Nor do I mean it to be an anti-men statement. I guess it's just a girl tired of what the media puts emphasis on. What we're told is "beautiful" "hot" "normal".
I guess I'm just waiting for the redefinition of Superman.
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