Diana Reader

Breakups are not fun. I was convincing myself that I needed to sleep tonight and I would write this blog tomorrow, but alas, the wheels in my head were turning and sleep was not going to come until I wrote.  Ah, the life of ideas. It's weird how relationships work.  I've noticed that I start out a relationship with my eyes on Christ, totally focused and ready.  Excited and nervous, anxious and on guard, reading for any curve or disappointment that might come.  I feel totally prepared and faithfully focused on the Lord. Then somewhere along the way my focus shifts. Somewhere along the way my eyes turn away, my attention shifts, I feel like I need to give more time to who I'm dating, thinking I need that extra space to give to them.  The funny thing about that though, is that the extra time I "clear up" when stopping my time with the Lord is never filled up with treating the person I'm dating better, or working on myself to become more of what I think th...

I read something today that bothered me way more than it should have. Leaving all names out, I found out that there was a man that allegedly cheated on his fiancé.  Now, I know what you're thinking, but before you pass judgement as to why I care about this, let me explain. Okay, I can't explain. It must be something deeply embedded in me, because whenever I hear of a breakup, even with a couple I don't know, I get really, really sad.  Which is crazy, because it totally doesn't pertain to me.  I honestly don't know why I do this, and it really bothers me that it bothers me, if that makes sense.  So, after finding out about this particular couples problems, I honestly couldn't focus anymore.  I had an exam shortly after and my mind was totally unfocused.  I'm mostly righting this blog because I need to study for an important anatomy exam tomorrow and have to get this out there and off of me.  The hopeful part of me wants to believe it's all just a ...

I don't know if you've ever had an addiction, but chances are if you did, breaking it almost broke you. Addictions can come in many forms, whether it be a drug, relationship, food, image; I'm sure each of you reading this can think of something you were addicted to at one point in your life, even if it wasn't very strong or wasn't very long. We all have addictions. I don't think we're told enough in our lives just how crucial it is to have relationships.  Our society has become so focused on image, self sustenance, strength, and pride that we push back what's at the heart of each of our successes: help.  Nothing you will ever do, be it success, will ever be completely on your own; in some form of another you will have had help along the way.  And that's okay.  Nothing you will ever go through, be it difficult, will ever be completely on your own; in some form or another you will be given strength from others to help you.  And that is amazing. ...

The story of my life I'll take her home I'll drive all night, to keep her warm And time is frozen. I've been choosing to spend a lot of time alone lately, I just feel like reflection is really necessary for me right now.  I've been thinking a lot about the future, analyzing the different courses I could take, and wondering which one is the right path.  Wondering what is to come, what I can do to prepare, and all the while trying to learn to enjoy the present and find peace within ambiguity. I've never been a One Direction fan, but they recently came out with a music video that I fell in love with, so I have converted into one of their fans.  (Their lyrics above, and throughout--video below). I can't imagine the kind of love that someone could have for us, genuine, whole, true.  To have someone love unconditionally and without reserve.  To love someone and to have someone love you without benefit to themselves, no personal gain.  A love that will tr...

"We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter.  Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don't even matter, while all the time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets!  It's time to put an end to this.  It's time for us to let ourselves be loved." ~C. JoyBell C. More specifically, we accept the love we think we deserve . Is this truth for you?  It's truth for a lot of people.  Why is it we tend to put our time and energy into people that don't care?  Why is it that we spend our time shaping ourselves to be loved by people that really don't want anything to do with us?  Why do you do that? Rosie and I had a conversation about this tonight.  So many people I know do this.  They get involved in a person, or in a relationship, and it's clearly not good for them.  But th...

I'd really like you to read this whole post.  For no other reason than it might just resonate with you, and you might take action.  If nothing else, I'm reaching out because I know I can't do this alone. I never knew my medical microbio class would have such a strong impact on my life.  The professor is amazing, so incredibly relatable, forward in his thinking, down-to-earth, and passionately inspired by a few people he has shared with us, changing my life as well. We've been reading a book called Mountains Beyond Mountains .  It's about a man, Paul Farmer, who begins his medical degree at Harvard while simultaneously practicing medicine in Haiti.  He basically taught himself medicine through practice and flew back to school to take his exams.  It's an incredible story, and one well worth the read.  This man, this wonderful man, truly understand what it means to say that no life is less valuable than another.  He dedicates his life to helping ...

There's so much I have to say.  So, here goes everything. I stopped at the graveyard today.  Impulsively.  I was driving home from the store when a song came on from Tenth Avenue North, and I totally lost it.  I haven't cried in a long time.  It's really weird, I used to cry almost every night, but since last year, I just don't cry much.  Today though, today it all broke free. It wasn't one thing that hit me, but a thousand things.  I've been resisting the want to call certain people because I know I need to let go.  The strength of that is draining.  I've been studying and worrying about classes and life after school.  The stress of that is draining.  I'm sure you all have your own stresses and strength drainers in life; today was a mix of everything. I pulled into the graveyard and just cried.  I cried for all the people who were buried here, their earthly life over.  I cried for those who may not have kn...