She wore an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini...
I really didn't want to write this blog. I've been putting it off and putting it off, mostly because I don't even know where I want to take it, but it's something that keeps on knocking, keeps on asking. So, here's to wherever this blog will lead.
About a month ago I ordered a bikini from a magazine I've been getting. I had this vision of what color, style, and design I wanted my swim suit to have, as I enjoy designing clothes as a hobby. It's something I've never told anyone, but I have a sketch book I keep for myself and enjoy creating and designing various styles. I don't sew clothes much, so it's not something I'll probably ever show anyone or pursue, but instead I'll draw it and then look for years trying to find something similar in stores. Anyway, the bikini I ordered was about as close to my design as I was going to get, since I'd been looking for about four years, so I bought it. I went through this whole contemplation process, wondering how it'd fit (I hate buying clothes without trying them on). Anyway, decided to purchase, received it in the mail, and then tried it on to find out it fit. Except I became unsettled. In the back of my mind, I kept wondering if it was too much, too revealing. I've finally grown into myself, but I continue to look for the line of how far is too far.
You see, despite what I go through, I'm really comfortable with my body around others. (The whole self critical, living up to one's own standards, that's another story). But I've wondered for years what it means to be modest in the realm of Christianity. I've been pounded by many in the faith about wearing one piece suits, how dating is dangerous, how to get complete control over your emotions. But the problem is, what is the message from God saying to us? Suddenly, we reach a certain age and we're supposed to suddenly express these things openly, without the reserve we've been pounded with for years.
Why has this been bothering me so much? Why am I so torn between wearing a swim suit, or sending it back? I've been analyzing this like crazy, and it's almost humorous how much I go back and forth with keeping it or returning it. I may be past the date of being able to get a refund, but I can't help but ask the question of what does it mean to wear a bikini?
You see, I see it in two ways: empowering and degrading. It's empowering to wear because it takes a lot of confidence to show your body in it's beautiful flaws. It's wonderful to be confidence in your sexuality, lovely to be trusting in your friends who fully accept you, enjoying summer sun in all it's glory. It's degrading when you consider the lustful associations that go along with it.
It bothers me that so many of the articles (yes, I've asked google to give me an answer to my dilemma) written about women wearing bikinis mention it's wrong because it causes men to lust after them. Goodness, it's like they treat men like dogs. As if it's always women's fault for the uncontrollable actions of men. And yet it never goes the other way around. Literally if you google
'should a christian wear board shorts,' the first article that comes up is 'should christians wear bikinis.' Why is this conversation always heteronormative? Are women fully capable of controlling their emotions, an area where men are always the victims?
I don't have the answer. I don't believe that women should be showing their body for attention. I don't believe men are helpless to their actions. But the topic is still about modesty. What does that mean in terms of swim suits? What does confidence mean in terms of bikinis?
Does God concern Himself with these issues? Is it an issue because it's something the Holy Spirit has placed on my heart, or is it something that is irrelevant?
I'm really curious to hear your responses. Comment or message, either way I'd like to know. I think deciphering the voice of Christ is one of the hardest things to do. And one of the easiest. But there are a lot of in-between areas that I am learning that although a lot of people have opinions, God remains rather quiet. As many voices as I've heard, the one that I truly care about stays quiet. I search for answers through others, as I reach out to you today, maybe God answers through the voices of my friends. Maybe not. I guess the first step is to ask, and wait for God to respond.
About a month ago I ordered a bikini from a magazine I've been getting. I had this vision of what color, style, and design I wanted my swim suit to have, as I enjoy designing clothes as a hobby. It's something I've never told anyone, but I have a sketch book I keep for myself and enjoy creating and designing various styles. I don't sew clothes much, so it's not something I'll probably ever show anyone or pursue, but instead I'll draw it and then look for years trying to find something similar in stores. Anyway, the bikini I ordered was about as close to my design as I was going to get, since I'd been looking for about four years, so I bought it. I went through this whole contemplation process, wondering how it'd fit (I hate buying clothes without trying them on). Anyway, decided to purchase, received it in the mail, and then tried it on to find out it fit. Except I became unsettled. In the back of my mind, I kept wondering if it was too much, too revealing. I've finally grown into myself, but I continue to look for the line of how far is too far.
You see, despite what I go through, I'm really comfortable with my body around others. (The whole self critical, living up to one's own standards, that's another story). But I've wondered for years what it means to be modest in the realm of Christianity. I've been pounded by many in the faith about wearing one piece suits, how dating is dangerous, how to get complete control over your emotions. But the problem is, what is the message from God saying to us? Suddenly, we reach a certain age and we're supposed to suddenly express these things openly, without the reserve we've been pounded with for years.
Why has this been bothering me so much? Why am I so torn between wearing a swim suit, or sending it back? I've been analyzing this like crazy, and it's almost humorous how much I go back and forth with keeping it or returning it. I may be past the date of being able to get a refund, but I can't help but ask the question of what does it mean to wear a bikini?
You see, I see it in two ways: empowering and degrading. It's empowering to wear because it takes a lot of confidence to show your body in it's beautiful flaws. It's wonderful to be confidence in your sexuality, lovely to be trusting in your friends who fully accept you, enjoying summer sun in all it's glory. It's degrading when you consider the lustful associations that go along with it.
It bothers me that so many of the articles (yes, I've asked google to give me an answer to my dilemma) written about women wearing bikinis mention it's wrong because it causes men to lust after them. Goodness, it's like they treat men like dogs. As if it's always women's fault for the uncontrollable actions of men. And yet it never goes the other way around. Literally if you google
'should a christian wear board shorts,' the first article that comes up is 'should christians wear bikinis.' Why is this conversation always heteronormative? Are women fully capable of controlling their emotions, an area where men are always the victims?
I don't have the answer. I don't believe that women should be showing their body for attention. I don't believe men are helpless to their actions. But the topic is still about modesty. What does that mean in terms of swim suits? What does confidence mean in terms of bikinis?
Does God concern Himself with these issues? Is it an issue because it's something the Holy Spirit has placed on my heart, or is it something that is irrelevant?
I'm really curious to hear your responses. Comment or message, either way I'd like to know. I think deciphering the voice of Christ is one of the hardest things to do. And one of the easiest. But there are a lot of in-between areas that I am learning that although a lot of people have opinions, God remains rather quiet. As many voices as I've heard, the one that I truly care about stays quiet. I search for answers through others, as I reach out to you today, maybe God answers through the voices of my friends. Maybe not. I guess the first step is to ask, and wait for God to respond.
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