Self [De]Construction
The number one reason people stay stuck in self-destructive patterns is that they don't really want to change. Of course, you don't like the consequences of your obsession--but there are parts of it you believe you can't live without. You have limits on how much you will trust God.
If this comes close to describing your life [know that] there is a way to break out of this cycle. Read the words of two people who struggle with eaten problems: "Success through [your issue] was the key to my salvation. Success meant a perfect career, perfect control over my life--all of which depended on a perfect me--which depended on me living inside a perfect body.
Eating is one area of my life that no one can reach, not even God."
Doesn't it sound as if they're describing a religion? They have laws, rituals, sacrifice, penance, idols of comfort, idols of control, and the hope of salvation. The difference is that God is not in it.
Your problem isn't knew. The apostle Paul, in the book of Galatians, tells how we are always trying to construct our own religion. When Galatians was written, people were trying to use circumcision as a way to make themselves acceptable to God. Now we use different rituals, but it all comes down to the same thing: We believe we can be made right by something we do.
You might not be thinking about God at all, but deep inside you there is a desire to be "right" and "acceptable." It's easy to substitute yourself or other people as the final judge of what it means to be right.
If you are thinking of God at all, you probably believe that you have to become a better person before you can have a relationship with him. You're hoping that your own laws will show you the way. Meanwhile, you are constructing a world that has no room for God.
Every time you starve, every time you binge, you are saying something. What is it?
"I need nothing."
"I must be in control."
"I am hurt. I want to feel nothing."
"I am bad. I will deny myself."
"I am empty. I want to feel full."
"If only I could be nothing."
All of these statements have one thing in common: they are the feelings of someone living in a world where God is absent or very far away. You live in a kingdom that is not ruled by God. So you cry on your bed, but you don't cry out to the Lord (Hosea 7:14).
You don't turn to God for two reasons: One, you believe he will take away something you need--something you trust in. Two, you don't believe you are good enough to come to God. The truth is, all you have to do is turn to him and speak honestly, and he will meet you. Sit and learn who God really is.
You are drowning under layers of wrong thinking about God.
Your progress will be like that of everyone else who follows Jesus--bumpy with ups and downs. But don't forget: you are no longer isolated and on your own.
[All excerpts from Eating Disorders: The Quest for Thinness by Edward Welch. Adapted]
If this comes close to describing your life [know that] there is a way to break out of this cycle. Read the words of two people who struggle with eaten problems: "Success through [your issue] was the key to my salvation. Success meant a perfect career, perfect control over my life--all of which depended on a perfect me--which depended on me living inside a perfect body.
Eating is one area of my life that no one can reach, not even God."
Doesn't it sound as if they're describing a religion? They have laws, rituals, sacrifice, penance, idols of comfort, idols of control, and the hope of salvation. The difference is that God is not in it.
Your problem isn't knew. The apostle Paul, in the book of Galatians, tells how we are always trying to construct our own religion. When Galatians was written, people were trying to use circumcision as a way to make themselves acceptable to God. Now we use different rituals, but it all comes down to the same thing: We believe we can be made right by something we do.
You might not be thinking about God at all, but deep inside you there is a desire to be "right" and "acceptable." It's easy to substitute yourself or other people as the final judge of what it means to be right.
If you are thinking of God at all, you probably believe that you have to become a better person before you can have a relationship with him. You're hoping that your own laws will show you the way. Meanwhile, you are constructing a world that has no room for God.
Every time you starve, every time you binge, you are saying something. What is it?
"I need nothing."
"I must be in control."
"I am hurt. I want to feel nothing."
"I am bad. I will deny myself."
"I am empty. I want to feel full."
"If only I could be nothing."
All of these statements have one thing in common: they are the feelings of someone living in a world where God is absent or very far away. You live in a kingdom that is not ruled by God. So you cry on your bed, but you don't cry out to the Lord (Hosea 7:14).
You don't turn to God for two reasons: One, you believe he will take away something you need--something you trust in. Two, you don't believe you are good enough to come to God. The truth is, all you have to do is turn to him and speak honestly, and he will meet you. Sit and learn who God really is.
You are drowning under layers of wrong thinking about God.
Your progress will be like that of everyone else who follows Jesus--bumpy with ups and downs. But don't forget: you are no longer isolated and on your own.
[All excerpts from Eating Disorders: The Quest for Thinness by Edward Welch. Adapted]
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