This is our story

Sometimes I think about how I could have done things differently in the past.  It's funny, that as we age, we grow into new understandings, beliefs, reasonings, and yet if only we had held them in the past, how different our present would be.  Now this sounds like regret, as if we would do things differently if we had a second chance.  I don't know if we would.  Sometimes I feel that we are able to gain new understandings because of the past mistakes and disappointments, failures and regrets. 

I think of the people that have come in and out of my life, some I miss terribly, some I wonder if they'll ever return, some I am at peace with how it has come to be.  Each shaping and defining who I am, yet each completely separate and irresponsible for the person I am today.  I think we become so self abusing when we look back and wish we would have responded differently, wish we could change personality traits, addictions, fears, sins.  We condemn ourselves for our faults, as if somehow we in our own strength could defeat them; as if we could obtain perfection; as if we could only try hard enough things would work out.  We judge ourselves on our shortcomings.

I came across this quote said by a contemporary Indian master Bapuji in a book I'm reading:

 "My beloved child,
  Break your heart no longer.
  Each time you judge yourself you break your own heart.
  You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality.
  The time has come, your time

  To live, to celebrate and to see the goodness that you are...
 
  Let no one, no thing, no idea or ideal obstruct you
  If one comes, even in the name of "Truth," forgive it for its unknowing
  Do not fight.
  Let go.
  And breathe--into the goodness that you are."

And one more story:

"One day a young Catholic priest was making his rounds at a community hospital and he came upon this woman, emaciated and with the yellow tinge of an afflicted liver.  he sat down next to her bed and asked how she was doing.  "I'm lost," she replied.  "I've ruined my life and every life around me.  There is no hope for me.  I'm going to hell."
The priest sat in silence a few moments.  Then he noticed a framed picture of a pretty girl on the dresser.  "Who is that?" he asked.  The woman brightened a little.  "She's my daughter, the one beautiful thing in my life."
"And would you help her if she was in trouble or made a mistake?  Would you forgive her?  Would you still love her!"
"Of course I would!" cried the woman.  "I would do anything for her!  She will always be precious and beautiful to me.  Why do you ask such a question?"
"Because I want you to know, " said the priest, "that God has a picture of you on his dresser."

We don't need to rely on our own strength.  We don't need to be perfect.  We don't need to be good enough.  We only need to accept ourselves in Christ, accept His love and grace, accept His forgiveness.  We only need to live in His love.

He has made us perfect in Him.

He has made us pure through the cross.

He has made us clean through His purity.

What if we treated ourselves with the same love He has for us?  What if we treated others with the same love Jesus has for them?  Can you honestly imagine being tortured, rejected, and crucified by the very people you love?  The very people you were trying to help?  The very people you were sent to save?  Do you realize this was done for you?

This isn't just my story.  This isn't just your story.

This is our story.

God has a picture of you on his dresser.